It was a nine hour flight to heaven
God said, "Son, you look destroyed,
it aint a shame you had to waste your life
its just a shame you had to waste your life in Illinois."
The angels they weren't who I thought they would be
they were drunk at the bar and they were fitted with airplane wings
stumblin' around blowin' halos of smoke, to faded to float
they were taking the trains home
I thought this heaven must be some kinda place
here its not what you were its more what you aint
God said, "Son, I want you working the gates,
we need someone to paint over the spraypaint."
Heavens just a place to waste
we'll spend the afterlife destroyed
heavens just another place to waste
after ya lived in Illinois.